by Burt Prelutsky

If you want to Comment directly to Burt Prelutsky, please mention my name Rudy. burtprelutsky@icloud.com

It seems that 800,000 mainly young people showed up in Washington, D.C., in order, I assume, to meet members of the opposite sex. I can’t imagine why else all those youngsters would congregate, even if their expenses were picked up by the questionable likes of Michael Bloomberg, nOprah Winfrey, George Clooney and scum-George Soros.

It’s not as if these massive demonstrations bring about change, or at least the sort of change desired by the organizers.

Even if you go back to the 60s and 70s, all the anti-war demonstrations managed to do was prolong the agony in Vietnam because Nixon and Kissinger didn’t want to be seen as caving in to the likes of Abbie Hoffman, Tom Hayden and the bra-burning, draft-dodging, collegians.

One of the ironies of the anti-gun demonstration is that the same people who argued that 18-year-olds are too irresponsible to own a gun sat enthralled as 17-year-old David Hogg lectured them. It should have amused them to hear a privileged white kid sound the alarm about white privilege or the same kid, who seeks to abridge the Second Amendment rights of law-abiding Americans to own guns, complain that the new Parkland mandate about all backpacks being transparent interfered with the students’ right to privacy.

But that would require a sense of irony, when everyone knows that liberals suffer from irony-deficiency.

It also made a person wonder how 800,000 people could listen to the same old hokum about how guns kill without a single person calling attention to the fact that Nikolas Cruz managed to murder 17 human beings because the school guards, the Broward County Sheriff’s Department, local social workers and the FBI, all failed to do their jobs, not because there aren’t more than enough laws on the book.

⦿ Although there are any number of things I am willing to do in order to stay on top of things, including sitting through State of the Union speeches and watching presidential and vice-presidential debates. But even I draw the line at watching “60 Minutes” in order to hear a porn star pretend that a one-night stand a dozen years ago constitutes an affair.

Frankly, as more and more women come out of the woodwork to snitch on randy Donald Trump, it’s a wonder that he ever found the time to build all those towers and golf courses.

If all the rumors or even half of them are true, I’m not really shocked. I don’t believe that anyone ever thought the millionaire playboy was a choir boy. Clearly, he is a better president than he is a husband. But since I only voted for him and didn’t marry him, I don’t really care.

I doubt that any of these real or alleged escapades will sway a single vote in November. After all, the folks who take these things most to heart are evangelicals, and something like 90% of them voted for Trump even after they heard the tape of his sexual boasting a week or so before the election.

I suspect the question that voters will ask themselves when they’re in the voting booth in eight months is whether they prefer Trump’s agenda or Chuck clown-Schumer’s. It can only be one or the other, just as Senate and House Republicans have to decide if they want Trump calling the shots or prefer leaving it up to Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan.

Speaking of which, when the other 288 Republican members of Congress complained that they hadn’t had time to read the 2,232-page, pork-laden, omnibus bill forged by McConnell, Ryan, clown-Schumer and Pulosi, I kept expecting McConnell or Ryan to parrot Mrs. Pulosi and tell them they’d have to pass it in order to find out what was in it.

⦿ I liked Ronald Reagan and certainly saw him as a major improvement over his predecessors, but it always amazed me that he ever came to be hailed as Mr. Conservative. After all, as my two-term governor, he twice raised our state taxes, signed the most liberal abortion bill in America and helped shut down most of our insane asylums, which sent the inmates out into the streets, where they remain to this day, helping Jerry Brown and the state legislature destroy the quality of life in California.

As president, Reagan signed the amnesty bill that opened the floodgates to illegal aliens, and he sent the federal debt soaring.

What was special about him was that he said all the right things about the federal government as only an experienced and charming actor reading other people’s witty lines could do.

But, as reported in The New American, Ivan Eland, a highly qualified expert in public policy and the author of a great many books and articles dealing with our presidents, it seems I have someone else supporting my position.

In “Eleven Presidents: Promises vs. Results in Achieving Limited Government,” he makes the case that over the past century, the presidents who did the most to limit the expansion of the federal government were Warren Harding, Calvin Coolidge and Dwight Eisenhower.

He regards Reagan and the two Bushes as big government hawks.

His primary arguments against Reagan, the president, as opposed to Reagan, the myth, is that he “ballooned budget deficits by cutting taxes while increasing government spending, and dangerously expanded government power by unconstitutionally funding a secret war in violation of a congressional prohibition.”

The biggest surprise is that he didn’t include a chapter on liar-nObama, who doubled the national debt and militarized the various federal bureaucracies during his eight years in the Oval Office. But perhaps Mr. Eland feels that deserves a book all its own.

⦿ One would think that a kid who’d been bullied would never become a bully, but the opposite is often the case. Even when it comes to the stupid hazing rituals conducted by college fraternities, the rationale is that those undergoing the humiliation as freshmen will have the pleasure of doling it out to others over the course of the next three years.

Along those same lines, you would think that a child who’d been raised without a father in the home would never subject his own offspring to a similar fate, but 73% of black children know better.

What’s particularly weird about it is that black male adults make heroes out of those whose singular achievements in life are running with a football or dunking a basketball, while they, themselves, squander their one and only chance to be a hero in the eyes of another by relinquishing their parental responsibilities to single women and social workers.

⦿ According to Todd Dierdorff, the pride and joy of Colorado Springs, CO, while on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside diner for lunch.

Lunch completed, they hit the road. It was about 40 miles later that the old woman realized she had left her glasses on the table.

The old man blew his stack, especially when he discovered he had to drive several more miles before he could turn around.

All the way back, the grumpy old man fussed and whined, scolding his wife relentlessly for her carelessness. For the better part of an hour, he refused to let up.

To her relief, they finally arrived back at the diner. As she scurried inside, her husband rolled down his window and shouted: “While you’re in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.”

Mr. Dierdorff also let me know that a police officer called the station on his radio to report that an old lady, perhaps the same one who forgot her glasses, had shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped.

When the cop was asked if he’d placed her under arrest, he said: “Not yet. The floor’s still wet.”

⦿ Finally, I always thought that the late Alan King was the funniest of all the stand-up comics, and his greatest routine was one he called “Survived by His Wife.” In it, he read a string of newspaper obituaries in which men who had died in their 90s and hundreds were all somehow survived by their wives.

I know that men tend to marry women slightly younger than themselves, but last Sunday I decided to check out the obituaries in the L.A. Times. Twenty-two people had their death notices listed, 15 men and seven women. Of the 15 men, 10 were survived by their wives, two weren’t and three apparently were never married. Of the seven women, all had been married and only two left surviving husbands.

To recap, 19 of the deceased had been married, but in only four cases had the wives died before their mates.

I hate to read anything into such a small sample, but those are the kind of numbers you only expect to find among black widow spiders.

⦿ The winner of the March book drawing is Pete Wick. A copy of “Liberals: America’s Termites” is on its way to Woodbridge, CA. I hope everybody’s Easter will be as happy as his.

If you want to Comment directly to Burt Prelutsky, please mention my name Rudy. burtprelutsky@icloud.com 

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