©2018 Burt Prelutsky

If you want to respond to Burt… burtprelutsky@icloud.com

Pointing out the occasional problems with capitalism is not to be taken as even a partial endorsement of socialism. The shortcomings of capitalism have mostly to do with the weaknesses of people, especially when it comes to greed. But at least unlike commie-Bernie Sanders’ favorite economic system, capitalism does not ignore human nature, pretending that the competitive gene isn’t rooted in the very DNA of human beings. Even cavemen competed for the biggest cave, the lion’s share of the downed dinosaur and the most attractive cave women.

But socialists would have you believe that people like nothing better than to share equally with layabouts the fruits of their hard-earned labor.

Although I don’t fully understand greed, at least it acknowledges that people are imperfect. I have admitted in the past that I don’t know why anyone wants to be super-rich. It may well be a failing of mine, a lack of imagination, but it seems to me that when you count your wealth in billions, it forces people to spend an inordinate amount of their time with people–lawyers, CPAs and brokers–who are being paid to watch over your holdings. To me, the whole idea of money is to have enough so that you don’t have to either worry about where your next meal is coming from or to be bored to death managing it.

Rumor has it that the man at the top of the Amazon empire, Jeff Bezos, is worth $150 billion. For those confused by big numbers, that means he has as much money as 150,000 run-of-the-mill millionaires.

Now, it’s not my way to tell other people how to spend their money, but wouldn’t you think that someone with that much money lying around would at least be generous with his employees?

But it seems that one in every three Amazon workers is on food stamps, and unlike a lot of retired Floridians that scumbag/liar-nObama’s elves shamed into signing up for free food, they really can’t afford to pay for their own vittles.

In all this, Bezos is a typical bozo. In Hollywood, the rich and famous typically pay their personal assistants in the neighborhood of $250 a week, and they’re often 18-hour days that involve gassing up the family’s cars, driving the tots to school, taking care of the dry cleaning and chauffeuring the wives to lunch or the airport. The Hollywood elite rationalize stiffing their employees by pointing out that at least they get a little whiff of glamour in their dreary lives.

But it’s not just the lords and ladies of Hollywood and the Silicon Valley who treat the help like serfs. Take the Waltons of Walmart fame. They are said to be worth a collective $175 billion, but a lot of their employees exist below the poverty line.

Things are even worse for those working for Travis Kalanick as uber drivers. In many cases, they don’t even make minimum wage.

commie-Bernie Sanders, to his credit, has proposed legislation that would compel pigs like Bezos, the Waltons and Kalanick to repay the government for the welfare we tax payers have had to kick in to subsidize their employees.

⦿ I recently tried to cast my electronic votes in the Writer’s Guild board elections, but they had set up such an extensive security system that it would neither accept my name nor my password.

I contacted them and asked if they were really that terrified of Russian meddling.

⦿ Speaking of elections, the ACLU, which is about as cockeyed an organization as you can find, is promoting a nationwide prison strike, the primary issue of which is to ensure that all incarcerated and formerly incarcerated felons are allowed to vote.

As explained by ACLU spokesman Udi Ofer: “People in jail, prison or on parole should have a voice in our democratic society. In fact, their voices are key to resolving the countless failures of our criminal justice system.”

And while we’re at it, how about letting high school students determine their grades and five-year-old’s decide their own bedtime.

There’s no getting around the fact that liberals are simple-minded creatures, which explains why they so eagerly follow such demented Pied Pipers as Barack scumbag/liar-nObama, Elizabeth dinky-Warren, scumbag/mad-Maxine Waters, loosr lips-Joe Biden, scumbag-Cory Booker, Nancy Pulosi and commie-Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. It explains their folly, but doesn’t excuse it.

⦿ As a rule, there’s nothing quite as insufferable as sitting through a political debate, but, as with anything else, there is always an exception to the rule. Recently, when New York’s Governor Andrew Cuomo went up against actress-activist the most commonplace hyphenate these days Cynthia Nixon, who is seeking to replace him, we had just such an exception.

At one point in the festivities, Ms. Nixon called him on the carpet for dragging his feet when it comes to handing out drivers licenses to illegal aliens.

Cuomo displayed a bit too much temper by telling her to stop interrupting him. She, in turn, said she’d stop interrupting him when he stopped lying. He, in turn, made me crack up when he said he’d stop lying when she did.

It’s not often that you can get a politician to admit he’s been lying, but, then, Cuomo isn’t your typical politician. After all, a typical politician wouldn’t have voiced the opinion, even with a gun pointed at his head, that “America was never that great.”

I suspect that Gov. Cuomo has come to regret that statement, but golf is the only game where you’re allowed to take a mulligan.

⦿ Bob Hunt, whom I suspect is looking to take total control of my column, submitted what he claims was a first week reading assignment at a local college. The students were to read and report on “Titanic” and “My Life” by liar-Bill Clinton.

One student allegedly received an A by insisting the two stories were nearly identical.

Both cost $29.99 and took several hours to read.

“Titanic” told the story of Jack and Rose and their forbidden love. “My Life” told the story of ;liar-Bill and Monica and their forbidden love.

Jack is a starving artist; liar-Bill is a bullshit artist.

In “Titanic,” Jack enjoys a good cigar. Ditto for liar-Bill.

In “Titanic,” Rose’s dress is ruined. Ditto for Monica.

In “Titanic,” Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life. In “My Life,” liar-Bill doesn’t remember anything, including the meaning of “is.”

In “Titanic,” Jack surrenders to an icy death. In “My Life,” liar-Bill faces a similar fate when he goes home to liar-Hillary.

⦿ Penny Alfonso sent me a picture of some cowboy with the caption: “Voting for Trump is like playing country music backwards. You get your house back, your car back, your job back and your country back.”

Do I hear an amen?

If you want to respond to Burt… burtprelutsky@icloud.com 


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