by Burt Prelutsky

If you want to Comment directly to Burt Prelutsky, please mention my name Rudy.

It would be bad enough if the worst things that could be said of America’s education system is that it’s not teaching young people how to do math or communicate in more than 140 characters at a time. Because the people entrusted to teach those who represent America’s future are themselves the products of left-wing indoctrination, it’s too much to ask that they help the kids to think for themselves or to properly appreciate the fact they were lucky enough to be born in a nation founded on Judeo-Christian principles. To ask that the teachers themselves appreciate the genius of the Founding Fathers and the importance of the U.S. Constitution is no doubt a bridge too far.

But when will conservative parents finally rise up and demand some balance in the curriculum? When will they finally demand that those who rely on our taxes for their salaries quit propagandizing their youngsters with watered down Marxism? When will they balk at blowing a quarter of a million dollars sending them off to colleges and universities where the one thing they will carry away after four years of non-stop indoctrination is the certainty that their parents are all wrong about everything because their brilliant professors told them so?

At San Diego State University, they’re offering a class titled: “Trump: Impeachment, Removal or Conviction” to be taught by a professor named John Joseph Cleary. I assume I understand what is meant by “impeachment” and “conviction,” but I’m at a loss when it comes to “removal.” That sounds like a euphemism for assassination, a fear that overwhelms me every time I see President in a public venue. The campaign of hatred directed at Trump has been so pervasive, it is easy to picture some psycho making the attempt on his life in the belief that if he got the right judge or jury, he could walk out of the court a free man. Or possibly be carried out on the shoulders of Never-Trumpers like Chris Matthews, Joy Behar, Ashley Judd, Madonna, mad-Maxine Waters, Chuck clown-Schumer, Nancy Pulosi, Joe Scarborough, James Comey, Peter Strzok, Rich Lowry, rino-John McCain, rino-Jeff Flake, Rachel Maddow and Andrew McCabe.

In another example of the insanity that has overtaken the education industry in America, when a Louisiana high school student recently mentioned in class that the square root symbol resembled a gun, it was passed along to the Allen Parish Sheriff’s Department. Like a modern-day version of the Keystone Kops, they leapt into action and conducted a search of his home.

Although they turned up no cache of illegal weapons or, I assume, any cocked and loaded square root symbols or even a single insane posting on his computer, the student has been denied access to school property while he awaits an expulsion hearing.

I’m reminded of the kid who some years back was suspended from nursery school because he had turned his Pop Tart into a facsimile of a gun. For all I know, the student in Louisiana might be this same Pop Tart-toting menace. Some people just never learn.

Before moving on, I have always wondered why it is that high schools and colleges are always having reunions, but, so far as I know, grade schools never do. It’s much easier to lose track of those people than it is those we know in our teens and twenties. By then, we have no problem staying in touch. But when you have a best friend in the fourth or fifth grade whose parents move away, staying in touch is pretty much out of the question. So, if any of you attended Hancock Park Grammar School between 1947 and 1952, let me hear from you.

⦿ Peter Geddis of Danville, CA, wrote to point out that so far as manufacturers and the government are concerned, a certain number of deaths are acceptable. For instance, there are ways that car companies could diminish the number of traffic deaths, but to do so would be economically unfeasible.

Similarly, in Chicago, the politicians are willing to allow several hundred people to be killed by gangbangers every year because going after them in a serious fashion would rile the parents, friends and relatives, of the young blacks, and those votes are simply too essential for Rahm Emanuel and the members of the City Council to risk losing. That is why they would rather rail at the NRA than make a serious attempt to disarm the vicious hooligans.

In writing back to Mr. Geddis, I thanked him for reminding me that there’s even a certain percentage of bad stuff that’s allowed in our food and water. “Unfortunately, there’s no such limit when it comes to our politicians.”

⦿ Bob Marcks of Scottsdale, AZ, passed along a number of one-liners, a few of which I wish I had said. Fran Leibowitz: “My favorite animal is steak.” Orson Welles: “My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four, unless there were three other people at the table.” W.C. Fields: “I’m reminded of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to survive on nothing but food and water.” Rita Rudner: “I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn’t mine.”

⦿ Sam Hiserman, who lives in Modesto, CA, because somebody has to, sent along the following. It’s not very funny, but I have to bow to the person who went to the trouble of coming up with it.

It seems a thief planned a heist from the Louvre. He got past security with the stolen paintings. However, he was captured two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he had managed to pull off such a masterful caper and yet make such a stupid mistake, he replied: “Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.”

It concluded with his wanting to know if I had De Gaulle to send this on to someone else, explaining he had sent it to me because he figured he had nothing Toulouse.

⦿ Joseph Neuner, who is equally shameless, sent the following to me: “Let me tell you, friends, that one simple typing mistake can make your life a living hell. While away on a fishing trip, I texted my wife what I thought was a short, romantic message, but I left out a single ‘e.’

“No problem you might think, but the faux pas has caused me to seek a change of identity through the Federal Witness Program. I wrote: ‘Hi, Honey, I’m having the time of my life. I only wish you were her.”

If you want to Comment directly to Burt Prelutsky, please mention my name Rudy. 


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *