by Burt Prelutsky

If you want to Comment directly to Burt Prelutsky, please mention my name Rudy.

There are times I wish that I could control the world the way I can control my TV set. I would not only want to be able to permanently silence the likes of Nancy Pulosi, Chuck clown-Schumer and scum-Adam Schiff, with a click of my remote, but fast-forward my life through such things as doctor and dental appointments. It would also be nice these days to mute the buffoonish likes of rino-John McCain and Rand Paul, who keep railing against Gina Haspel, Trump’s choice to head up the CIA, simply because she was involved in waterboarding jihadists.

I have never understood why a few holier-than-thou politicians ever bothered virtue-signaling on this issue, especially if they were at least nominally Republicans. It’s not like we were cutting off their Islamic fingers and toes to make them talk. Enhanced interrogation meant waterboarding, making these brutes very wet and very uncomfortable in hopes of finding out where the terrorists were going to strike next or discovering the hiding place of Osama bin Laden.

I know that critics of these policies always insisted they didn’t work, but since they weren’t there, how would they know? The notion that the jihadists were all so iron-willed that they would never give in is blatantly false. If their vows to Allah were all that inviolate, they would never surrender, but, as we’ve seen in Iraq, Syria and Afghanistan, they surrender all the time. Otherwise, Gitmo would have been as empty as, take your pick, Alcatraz or Nancy Pulosi’s brain.

The zealots all talk a good game, but they are not Islamic supermen. And it would make for a nice change if our damn politicians didn’t keep instilling them with magical powers.

⦿ Equally misguided are those conservatives, people like Mark Levin, who keep calling for a constitutional convention. Aside from the fact that liberals would have their say at such a gathering, just as they do in the U.S. Congress, why would anybody think that Democrats would be any likelier to abide by a 28th Amendment than they – including their representatives on the Supreme Court – abide by any of the others?

⦿ Unlike those on the Left, my heart didn’t swell at the sight of thousands of school children playing hooky, so they could chant anti-gun slogans. It was almost worth it, though, to see New York’s Governor Andrew Cuomo lying on the ground in his suit and tie at the student “die-in,” as it was called, in New York’s Zuccotti Park. But it should be noted that he kept his head off the ground, so his hair didn’t get dirty. There’s only so much even a left-wing politician is willing to sacrifice for the kids.

He was joined by Randi Weingarten, president of the American Federation of Teachers, and Michael Mulgrew, head of the United Federation of Teachers, but Mulgrew only went so far as to lean against a wall in support of the youngsters, meaning he was only willing to engage in a lean-to, not a full-fledged die-in.

The take-away is that teachers are not only not opposed to students playing hooky, but actively encourage it. I guess they want to get out of the classroom every bit as much as the kids.

The nonsense wasn’t limited to the parks and streets of the nation. We also had to put up with louts like Chuck clown-Schumer standing on the steps of Congress currying favor with the hooky-playing adolescents by calling them America’s future leaders. Still, to be fair, if people like clown-Schumer, scum-Dick Durbin and Elizabeth dinky-Warren, are the standard, the kids don’t have a very high wall to scale.

As I see it, show me someone chanting insipid slogans at 17 and I’ll show you a Nancy Pulosi at 77.

⦿ Those on the Left are always kicking up a fuss over what they refer to as cultural appropriation, as when fraternity boys wear sombreros or serapes to a costume party or when a white guy opens a rib joint, but they always maintain a polite silence when Elizabeth dinky-Warren continues to lie about her Cherokee heritage, in spite of the fact that she refuses to have her DNA tested.

So, on the one hand, they pretend that the alleged appropriation is something akin to genocide, but they never condemn illegal aliens who come to America and begin speaking English for appropriating a language that’s not part of their heritage or using man-made miracle drugs they played no part in creating or funding.

I’m reminded of one of my readers who admitted that one of his ancestors owned slaves who were forcefully removed from his possession, and jokingly wonders if the federal government will ever pay him reparations for the uncompensated theft of the family’s bought-and-paid-for property.

⦿ Another of my subscribers recalled that having been a child during World War II, he was brought up to “clean his plate.” As a result, he is, in his late 70s, on the heavy side. He claims that according to his “body-mass index,” he should be four inches taller. I told him that, coincidentally, my New Year’s resolution was to grow four inches taller in 2018. So far, no luck, but it’s only March, and I still have high hopes.

⦿ Someone else ventured that these are very strange times when the dictator of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, appears far more willing to negotiate with President Trump than Senate Minority Leader Chuck clown-Schumer is.

⦿ After writing about the prevalence of violence in society, one of my friends wondered if I thought video games and violent movies were a major cause of desensitizing our youth.

On the face of it, I couldn’t imagine they wouldn’t have any effect. But, looking back on my own early days, I seem to recall a lot of cap gun gunplay. The air on 6th Street often smelled of exploding caps. In fact, I vividly remember organizing games of cowboys and Indians and Al Capone. You see at about the age of eight or nine, I saw a reissue of “Scarface,” the one starring Paul Muni, and it made a big impression. The next day, I tried to turn up the side brim on my cowboy hat so that it looked the way the fictional Capone’s hat looked in the movie.

While the other neighborhood kids were limited to six-shooters, I was armed with an imaginary tommy gun. But I only used it for good, never for evil.

In response, I wrote my friend to say: “I’m sure a lot of things play a role in making society more violent than we’d like, but if I had to limit it to just a couple, they would be, one, the absence of fathers in the homes of young boys and, two, far too many illegal aliens from places where corruption and violence are a way of life.”

⦿ I don’t know about everybody else, but whenever my computer does something screwy or stops working altogether, I find myself thinking that just maybe scum-Al Gore really did play a role in the invention of the internet.

⦿ Marie Colburn, the main attraction in Hernando, Florida, sent along the two following jokes: “I found myself wondering what my parents did to combat boredom before the internet was invented, so I asked my 17 brothers and sisters. But they didn’t know either.”

“Going to bed early, not leaving the house and not going to parties: my childhood punishments have become my adult goals.”

⦿ Note: I like hearing from my readers, but I am going to request that whenever you send me an email, whether you’re asking a question, making a comment or sharing a joke, you sign off with your last name. By now, I recognize some of your nom de plumes, but, unless your email address includes your name, as mine does, please assume I have no idea who you are.

Also: when commenting on something I wrote in an earlier email, remind me what it was. Otherwise, as I deal with scores of messages every day, your comment comes across as a complete non-sequitur.

If you want to Comment directly to Burt Prelutsky, please mention my name Rudy. 


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