PTSD: Survivors’ Guilt and A Reading Reference List

Jack E. Kemp

I've read some accounts of survivor guilt in the military and most of it is pure emotion that often blames the self in the face of facts. This involves not being able to help buddies stay alive in a fire fight. This is also is made worse by distortions of perceptions due to the adrenaline flowing and the risk of death in battles. One of the most unusual stories was about a Vietnam war vet, a Navy Corpsman, who found himself at the end of a small skirmish looking at a dead Marine with a live, unexploded rocket stuck in the Marine's body. As the standing order was to explode all rockets, the other non-medically skilled Marines wanted to blow up their buddy so the Vietcong couldn't use the rocket for booby traps. The return helicopter crew that landed also refused to take in a body with an exploded rocket embedded in it, as well. The Navy Corpsman understood what had to be done. He got the another Corpsman and they took the body over to the side of the clearing where they cut skin and broke two of the dead Marine's ribs and removed the rocket by pulling it out with a rope at great personal risk to the Corpsmen. This story was in a book about EMDR, that eye movement tracking therapy the one Corpsman went to receive decades later because he amazingly felt guilty about "defacing" and "dishonoring" the body of the dead Marine.

This guilt is totally irrational because if the Corpsmen didn't risk their lives to cut open the chest (something that can be hidden at a funeral under a dress uniform), the only other choice was for the other Marines to blow the body up with C-4 or grenades and for the Corpsman to recover pieces of the body to send home for a funeral. Some of the pieces could have easily been blown into the nearby jungle where a wild boar or other animal could have eaten them (this did actually happen in Vietnam). After undergoing this EMDR therapy, the Corpsman realized something that is obvious to outside readers, that he did the family of the dead Marine a great service in bringing home an intact body on the helicopter - and did it at great risk to his own life. He was now at peace with his actions, no longer blaming himself. If a sailor who didn’t fire a shot in the war, did not kill anyone in front of a child – or shoot a boy soldier with a grenade can have this kind of guilt, imagine what can happen to an armed combat veteran. As one author said, there isn’t a VFW Hall that doesn’t have a bar, in part, for self-medication.

Similar in nature, but not necessarily in detail, stories occurred in the Iraq and Afghan wars. Part of solution, according to Lt. Col. David Grossman, author of "On Combat," is to explain the limited, narrowed perceptions a person has in the middle of combat limit one's views of how much could be done in the way of acting honorably. Most service men and service women do the best they can under the severe conditions of war.

My PTSD Reference "library"

I've decided to post a reference reading and video list on Post Traumatic Stress that I've accumulated over the last six months or so. This includes books I have mentioned in various articles I have written this summer and fall. It is mostly for veterans, their families and health service students and professionals.

As I have previously stated with other lists, I realize that most of you have a life and do not have time - or need - to read this entire collection. I did not fully read more than eight of these books and listened to the unabridged audio book of another eight. My suggestion to anyone having need or desire to know more about PTSD pick out one or two titles for now. I also recommend that you first review what online bookseller Amazon has to say about them, including the reader comments and the introductory content posted for many of them have to say. Also look to see if an audiobook is available to download to an MP3 player for any particular volume. There are also some reference websites listed at the bottom.

Once a Warrior Always a Warrior - Charles Hoge, Col. & MD

Wheels Down: Adjusting to Life After Deployment

- Bret Moore, Carrie Kennedy (Down to earth language, plain talk)

Once a Warrior Wired For Life - Bridget Cantrell, Phd. and Chuck Dean (Vietnam combat vet)

War and Redemption: Treatment and Recovery in Combat-related Postraumatic Stress Disorder

- Larry Dewey (Psychiatrist, 30 years with the VA – mostly pre-Gulf War stories but still timely)

Out Of The Night: The Spiritual Journey of Vietnam Vets - William P. Mahedy (former Vietnam military chaplain)

The Long Walk: A Story of War and the Life That Follows - Brian Castner (USAF bomb disposal, Iraq)

On Combat - Lt. Col. Dave Grossman, 82nd Airborne, USMA (West Point) Prof.

Broken Bodies Shattered Minds: A Medical Odyssey From Vietnam to Afghanistan

- Ronald Glasser, M.D. and former US Army Major in the Medical Corps

Recovering from the War - Patience Mason (Vietnam and after. Still valuable book)

Heroes at Home: Help and Hope for America's Military Families

- Elie Kay (wife of veteran stealth fighter pilot and guest speaker at military bases)

Faces of Combat PTSD & TBI - Eric Newhouse

Souls Under Siege: The Effects of Multiple Troop Deployments and how to weather the storm

- Bridget Cantrell, Ph.D. (psychologist)

The Girls Come Marching Home: Stories of Women Warriors Returning from the War in Iraq

- Kirsten Holmstedt

Until Tuesday - Capt. Luis Montalvan (service dog, PTSD story)

Soldier Dogs - Maria Goodavage (dog expert visits Lackland, Yuma advanced training facilities)

The Dogs of War: The Courage, Love and Loyalty of Military Working Dogs - Lisa Rogak

Dept. of Veterans Affairs Suicide Prevention and PTSD line 1-800-273-TALK

Fields of Combat: Understanding PTSD Among Veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan

- Erin Finley, Medical Anthropologist, Dept. of Veterans Affairs

Honor Betrayed - Dr. Mic Hunter (guy Psychologist writing on sexual abuse in military)

No Buddy Left Behind - Terri Crisp (rescuing veteran's dogs from Iraq to the U.S.)

From Baghdad With Love - Lt. Col. Jay Kopelman (bringing a Marine's stray dog to the U.S.)

After the Warzone - Mathew Friedman and Laurie Slone

Light in the Heart of Darkness: EMDR and the Treatment of War and Terrorism Survivors

- Susan Rogers (psychologist) and Steven Silver (psychologist and former Vietnam combat veteran)

War Trauma and Its Wake: Expanding the Circle of Healing

- Ramond Scurfield (Vietnam vet, 30 plus years working with the VA on PTSD as therapist)

Nov. 24, 2012 publishing: Healing War Trauma: A Handbook of Creative Approaches

- Ramond Scurfield (Vietnam vet, 30 plus years working with the VA on PTSD as therapist)

Shadow of the Sword: A Marine's Journey of War, Heroism, and Redemption

- Jeremiah Workman (a Marine hero who grew up in a troubled home, blames himself for the loss of his 3 buddies in action that won him the Navy Cross in Fallujah)

PTSD Websites

Neurofeedback – free program for vets (it works for PTSD) http://www.homecoming4veterans.org/

PTSD Film online (4 parts) - "The War Within - Finding Hope for Post Traumatic Stress"

http://www.dod.org/Products/The-War-Within--Finding-Hope-for-Post-T...

http://www.heartstowardhome.com /

http://www.pmim.org/ptsd.html

http://www.helpformylife.org/PostTraumaticStressDisorder.aspx

www.woundedwarriorproject.org

http://hiddenwounds.org/ 1-888-4HW-HERO

http://patriotoutreach.org/

http://heroestoheroes.org/

http://www.psychdog.org/veterans.html