Want to lighten things up and want you all to know that with the help of the Tea Party OBAMA DOES NOT HAVE A DANG CHANCE!
Enjoy learning about my country! BYW - Its information but tongue in cheek ....
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
1. Vancouver : 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
5. Weed.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
1. Big rock between you and B.C.
2. Ottawa who?
3. Tax is 5% instead of the approximately 200% as it is for the rest of the country.
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
1. You never run out of wheat.
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
5. Daylight savings time? Who the hell needs that!
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
1. You live in the centre of the universe.
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
1. Racism is socially acceptable against English speaking Canadians.
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English-speaking neighbour will move out next.
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada ...
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglos"
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick ...
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
1. Everyone can play the fiddle.. The ones who can't, think they can.
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island , you still got the big, new bridge.
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from..
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
3. The workday is about two hours long.
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding.
The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart:
Under our Obama we changed to the 'European' way of measuring temperature because America was going to do it! You never did - it cost us billions of dollars - and all us old folks learned to convert it to Farenheit!
50 Fahrenheit (10 C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Canadians plant gardens.
35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C)
Italian Cars won't start
Canadians drive with the windows down and still wear shorts and T-shirts.
32 Fahrenheit (0 C)
American water freezes
Canadians have the last cookout of the season
0 Fahrenheit (-17.9 C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Canadians Girl Guides still sell cookies door-to-door.
-60 Fahrenheit (-51 C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadians pull down their earflaps.
-109.9 Fahrenheit (-78.5 C)
Carbon dioxide freezes makes dry ice.
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
-173 Fahrenheit (-114 C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Canadians get a day off of work to go tobogganing.
-459.67 Fahrenheit (-273.15 C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"
-500 Fahrenheit (-295 C)
Hell freezes over.
Let's face it: Canadians are a rare breed .
Comment
Comment by Vern Shotwell on May 1, 2012 at 4:38pm Sorry, Noralee!
I've had a problem with Canadian medical care.
Had a friend, business colleague with GM management. About 50, living in Windsor, Ontario.
He had a heart attack: something that seems fairly common: I forget the particulars.
The attending physician gave him about 2 months to live, as-is. So he was put on the emergency surgery list!
He was then scheduled for surgery 6 months out, for this emergency.....
John's health insurance as GM management, was applicable in Canada only.
He got busy getting funds together to have it fixed in the States. His financial problems were solved suddenly!
He died after about 3 weeks. His doctor was optimistic, you see.
Here, it probably would have been fixed, same day service. Sort the money out later.
Such is life. Or death, in this case!
True story: personal experience. John was a nice guy, by the way.
Comment by David G. Lund on May 1, 2012 at 3:02pm It must be an awesome country to have nurtured such an ability to laugh at one's self and country! Wonderful insight. Thank you!
Comment by Monica Babcock on May 1, 2012 at 9:53am Thank you so much for a good laugh.
Comment by SHARRON AMSTER on May 1, 2012 at 9:52am This is great. You have made my day' maybe my week. Please keep it up. We need it.
Comment by Texas Proud on May 1, 2012 at 8:10am Being from Quebec.... I love this... Eh!... LOL
Funny, just be careful, Nobama may shut you down for racism against yourself, eh?
Comment by Vern Shotwell on May 1, 2012 at 6:42am We in the U.S. owe much to the resources of our neighbors to the north... some of which is provided free!
One example that comes to mind is that Polish jokes have become politically incorrect here. But they are easily translated into Noofie jokes!
Comment by Debrajoe Smith-Beatty on May 1, 2012 at 6:42am Thank you so much.
Very entertaining article providing plenty of laughs. Thanks.
Comment by John S Bacsenko IV on May 1, 2012 at 6:30am nothing like a little levity.....
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