Work From Home

 

David Lawrence

f I Only Had a Brain

 

I was a liberal before I had a brain.

I was brainless before I recognized that progressive ideology was prejudice.

I was the Straw man before I met the Wizard of Oz.

Then I was a different kind of straw man,

One that didn’t set fire

To division

And call everything that disagreed with me racist.

If I only had a brain,

I wouldn’t have marched against Vietnam.

I wouldn’t have talked up gay rights.

I wouldn’t have applauded easy riders when the truck of tradition

Had more insistence.

If I only had a brain I would have weighed the scales of dialectic

And understood the subtleties of historical weights.

I would have found capital punishment capital and celebrated

Vengeance like a partial evening out of waves on the shore.

I would have demanded an eye for an eye plus an ear to hear their complaints.

 

Check Amazon.com for David Lawrence’s book of poems—“Lane Changes.”

 

 

 

Teapartynation

Views: 608

Comment

You need to be a member of Tea Party Nation to add comments!

Join Tea Party Nation

Comment by Morry Markovitz on March 2, 2014 at 1:37pm

If I only had a brain, right now I'd probably be submerged in a jar of formaldehyde, sitting in some biology lab somewhere.

If I only had  a brain, how would I eat?

If I only had a brain, I think I'd be thinking seriously about consulting a body snatcher.

If I only had a brain,  all I'd want for Xmas would be a good puzzle.

If I only had a brain, it would be pretty difficult for me to get a head in this world.

If I only had a brain,  I wouldn't have to brush my teeth twice a day.

If I only had a brain,  I wouldn't need to exercise.

If I only had a brain,  liberals would never DARE ask me "Whatsa matter with you; don't ya have a heart?"

If I only had a brain,  I'd be out of touch with everything.

If I only had a brain,  I'd get water on the brain every time it rained, cuz I wouldn't  have an umbrella.

If I only had a brain,  I wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

if I only  had a brain, I'd have to think of something to think about.

If I only had a brain, I'd have no body to talk to.

If I only had a brain, I could take a nap at work and no one would notice.

If I only had a  brain, I wouldn't have to worry about heart attacks, the flu, or  most other medical problems.

If I only had a brain, I'd be humble -- compliments (like Lizzie's, David's, and Debrajoe Smith-Beatty's below) wouldn't go to my head.

If I only had a brain, I'd save a bundle on haircuts.

If I only had a brain, then if I ever needed brain surgery, I could probably get a big discount.

If I only had a brain, I could probably get bit parts in a lot of sci-fi movies.

If I only had a brain, I'd be unable to solve simple "no brainer" problems.

If I only had a brain, I could never get a job in Washington, DC.

If I only had a brain, would that make my hallucinations real?

If I only had a brain, I'd never have to go on a diet.

If I only had a brain, I'd have to cancel all dreams of Olympic Gold.

If I only had a brain, I'd never have to fear going out of my mind (as I've done during the past 10 minutes).

If I only had a brain, I'd probably lose my driver's license.

If I only had a brain, I could keep all those promises never to lose my head again.

BUT,

If I only had a brain,  I would be unable to share these deep thoughts with YOU, dear reader.

Comment by Debrajoe Smith-Beatty on March 2, 2014 at 1:29pm

Love it Morry.

Comment by David Lawrence on March 2, 2014 at 1:27pm

funny,

david

Comment by Lizzie on March 2, 2014 at 9:09am

Morry that was really funny!

Comment by Mike Meeks on March 2, 2014 at 8:33am

MORRY, WHY DID YOU TAKE CHRIST OUT OF CHRISTMAS?

Comment by Phil McConathy on March 2, 2014 at 8:05am
Obviously I have a brain that actually works because I see through the progressive liberal agenda and have since 1979 when I finally realized my original thinking about Democrats was WRONG and switched to the GOP and Reagan!
Comment by Debrajoe Smith-Beatty on March 2, 2014 at 7:15am

Thanks.

Comment by Mary West on March 2, 2014 at 3:41am

I keep saying this government is run like the Mafia! Every politician has at least 2 and it only takes 2 out of 20 needed to prosecute with RICO Chapter III.

Comment by Dwight M. Schmitz on March 2, 2014 at 12:22am

Gail, maybe you just had a brain before some of us did! :-)

Liberalism tends to be more of a knee jerk, emotional reaction to everything more than a rational, reasoned approach. Short term, feel good rather than sound, long term solution.

You were just ahead of the curve!

Wisdom has far more heart than emotionalism.

Comment by Gail Cohen on March 1, 2014 at 11:38pm

I guess I have no heart then,,,

Tea Party Nation is a social network

Whole Body Research

Young Living Essential Oils

 






© 2014   Created by Judson Phillips.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service