Almost all of Barack Obama's promises come with an expiration date. So, it is a rare thing indeed when one of those promises is kept. I count two thus far, and they probably weren't the ones anyone wanted keeping at all, sort of that is. He promised to send energy prices sky rocketing, and yes, unfortunately he kept that promise. He promised a new tone for political discourse, and he kept that one, albeit not quite the new tone people assumed.
Ironic that this is the quality which emanates from MSNBC these days. These are the same people who refer to bloggers as unqualified pajama wearing dolts who play fast and loose with the facts. Let me state here and now that Mitt Romney is right to release any number of tax returns he is comfortable with. This game will never end, no matter how many years worth of returns he releases. The game is deflection, straw men, and ad hominem attacks. So, since the new tone has been set, let's play along. Here are my top five baseless accusations to level at Democrats, based on sources every bit as credible as Harry Reid's.
1. Barack Obama is indeed an illegal alien. A credible anonymous source called me on the phone last night and confided in me that he knows for a fact that Barack Obama was not born in the United States. He in fact was not even born on Earth. He is from the planet GBLPHMSCHTADT. This is why he is so overly sensitive about the size of his ears. By applying the same rules so thoughtfully provided by Harry Reid and MSNBC, et al, it is up to Barack Obama to prove otherwise. A Birth Certificate should suffice.
2. A credible source who watches MSNBC on a nightly basis called me last night and told me that Chris Matthews spends his weekends listening to Barack Obama's speeches while dressing up like Natalie Wood singing, "I Feel Pretty." Singing show tunes in drag apparently enhances that tingling feeling Matthews gets up his leg. If Matthews fails to disprove this somehow, it means that he has something to hide, and this is could be it.
3. According to an anonymous source who called me late last night, Harry Reid, who is a Mormon, is part of a sect that practices polygamy. He has multiple wives who support his lavish life style by working as prostitutes in the only state in the union which allows such a profession. This would explain why a Mormon would live in the most decadent state of our nation. By the standard of acceptable mud slinging determined by Reid himself, If Harry Reid does nothing to disprove this allegation, it may not mean that this is true, but it does meant that Reid has something to hide.
Isn't this fun? You can play too. All you need to do is to leave your baseless anonymous allegation as a comment below.
4. According to a credible source who called me last night, someone who once voted in the state of California, Nancy Pelosi's over sized gavel which she carried to spike the Obamacare football, is actually a witch's broom that she uses to fly around Washington D.C. upon. She received the broom as a gift for joining a coven of witches/real estate investors, and subsequently proving herself far more evil than any of the others thought possible. In recognition of Nancy's pushing the outside of the envelope of wickedness and evil, she received the broom disguised as a gavel and free cosmetic surgery for life. While the broom has proven itself useful, San Fran Nan still looks like she always has. Nancy must come clean immediately and prove this false, or risk being burned at the stake.
5. As it turns out, according to a credible phone call I received last night, from a source who wishes to remain anonymous, Joe Biden actually had a surgical procedure performed in which his entire body was transformed into plastic. According to my source, this will enable Biden to continue enjoying as much alcohol as wishes without exhibiting any of the physical signs overtly. This would explain his seemingly endless supply of gaffes at the most bizarre of moments, telling paraplegics to stand so that the crowd could get a good look, eulogizing the still living mother of Ireland's Prime Minister, and then realizing that it was the man's father who recently passed away, things like that. According to the standard established by the Democrats and their apologists, the burden of proving this story false now rests squarely on the shoulders of Joe Biden, or as I will not refer to him, Vice President Plastic Man.
So much for the post partisan transformative figure who would lead us all beyond the destructive days of division. It would seem that as soon as he faces the slightest bit of electoral adversity, the inner old school Chicago Style Thug comes racing to the surface. I have always liked fairy tales, and in that spirit, please tell me the one about a transformative leader who will make us cast our cynicism aside. While you're at it, be certain to include the snake oil sales pitch of how we will have this endless supply of rich people willing to be soaked so that I will be taken care of and pampered with every creature comfort known to man without having the burden of contributing so much as a dime to pay for any commodity deemed to be a basic human right.
Comment
Comment by Doug Nicholson on August 8, 2012 at 1:14pm Oops! I made the mistake of "feeding the troll"! Well, it won't happen again. I promise!
Comment by John Wiseman on August 8, 2012 at 10:17am Is there anyone in the world who gives two nano-seconds worth of thought to anything that would believe that if someone of Mitt's financial means skipped paying his taxes ever, that the IRS would not immediately pounce on him with the full weight of their monstrous agency's weight? The entire premise needs you to be a complete imbecile in order to give it any weight what so ever. The IRS came after me this year over a discrepancy they claimed to be worth $3500 to them. As it turns out, I was able to prove myself to be in the right.
The fact is that I would be willing to bet that Mitt gets audited as a matter of normal business each and every year he exists, just like every other person on one of the various Forbes lists. The attack, in and of itself is just plain silly, topped however yesterday by an even more egregious example of campaign desperation and malfeasance.
Comment by Debrajoe Smith-Beatty on August 8, 2012 at 9:40am Ask Harry Judas Reid to produce 10 years of his tax returns. Ask Harry Reid what he did with the money in the brown paper sacks, he never recorded? Ask Harry Reid what he did with political donations from the Nevada brothels? Harry Reid is a liar. Harry Reid is a dispeciable piece of yesterdays throw out garbage.
Comment by Philip C Zimmer on August 8, 2012 at 8:53am How would a Bain Capital investor know whether or not Romney filed tax returns? Romney has released his last two returns; how many years of tax returns has obummer released? How about a birth certificate? How about college records?
Comment by Donald Mack Flippin on August 8, 2012 at 6:08am Quite obviously, Dahl Kaiser is one of the most superior intellects to ever visit our
humble site. If we would only follow his enlightened lead, we would all be eating
rainbow stew with a silver spoon in short order. But ___ here we are, all stuck in
line, wearing our roller skates, wearing no clothes (not "cloths", Mr. Kaiser), and
being used as pull toys.
What else?
We are all ignorant (even though most of us can spell "clothes"), we probably bleed
from the eyes, we all operate on a 4th grade level, we are sheeple, we are so quick
to revert to our primitive selves, we are childish, we all have big asinines (even though
methinks that using the word "asinines" as a noun and modifying that noun with the
adjective "big" is something that the King who committed the English Language to
print probably did not intend {as in, "the King's English"}). I mean, our asinines look
big? Wow!! I mean, we are working with an intellectual par excellence here, and we
are all so blessed that such a superior being graced us with his presence.
And now ___ after having been admonished and corrected by this mental giant, Mr.
Kaiser, would you please now go home and get back under your rock!
Semper Fi!
Comment by Dahl Kaiser on August 8, 2012 at 3:01am In your first post you said “……So, Mr. Odumbo, prove to the world that my source…. was lying! Go on! I dare you!”
To which I challenge, “So Mr. Romney, prove to the world that Harry Reid was lying! Go On! I dare you!”
And on your second post, you said, “Seriously, though, you have no problem with Harry Reid and his minions making allegations with absolutely zero evidence?” First, I made no declaration about my position on Harry Reid or his actions – And I certainly would have no knowledge of his evidence being zero or substantial.
I stated that my interest was in the art of Propaganda, which occurs in all parties, tribes etc. and how it was rapidly spreading i.e. Propaganda 101: "tell a big lie loud enough and often enough and the people will believe it (even if it IS a lie).”
I did question Why McCain did not go to the Senate floor and call Reid out, since McCain knows has seen 10 years of Romney’s returns.
You are indeed correct that calling someone ignorant does not make him or her ignorant! Anymore than calling’ someone a Muslim or a member of a Brotherhood does not make it so.
Stand in the place where you are Doug, but absorb information from all over the world and from all manner of thinking. Remember what Mark Twain said, “It is easier to fool people than to convince them they have been fooled"
Comment by Doug Nicholson on August 8, 2012 at 12:50am @Dahl Kaiser: "...your primitive...4th grade responses...", eh? How about, "...do not let the GOP put roller skates on you – ‘cause then they take off your cloths (sic) and make you a pull toy!" Now, that's juvenile!
Seriously, though, you have no problem with Harry Reid and his minions making allegations with absolutely zero evidence? That allegation is a case of "tell a big lie loud enough and often enough and the people will believe it (even if it IS a lie)."
Calling someone"ignorant", whether you are at peace with that or not, does not actually make the target of your name calling "ignorant".
Comment by Dahl Kaiser on August 7, 2012 at 11:25pm @Donald Mack Flippin et.al.....
Look, seriously, I know it’s tempting to conjure up your primitive self and come up with 4th grade responses – its so the in thing among the sheeple today, but truthfully the machine has not yet been invented that can measure my lack of interest in your childish “nanner, nanners”. You are ignorant and I am at peace with that.
In reading the comments, not one intellectual or factual response has come from this group. And your “I just received information from a reliable source…..” statement just makes your asinine look big! It was done by Rush Limbaugh on Friday and Trump on Sunday” The only responses here are defensive and childish – I thought interaction might develop communication, but I see that a person with another thought is considered an interloper here. I also see hate mongering that has become a signature personality trait of the Reich-wing.
And one more imbecile than I had counted on – Oh and if I offended you… (BTW, do you bleed from the eyes when offended?) then I will send you some bricks, so you can build a bridge and GET Over it! – or just pick up your quarters and leave the booth fellas.
I will stop by on occasion just to read “your side of a story” - Oh and just a warning - do not let the GOP put roller skates on you – ‘cause then they take off your cloths and make you a pull toy! Puppets are so Passé.
Comment by Doug Nicholson on August 7, 2012 at 10:40pm Absolutely hilarious article! Oh, BTW, I got a very, very late night phone call from a unanimous (yes, that's what I meant) source whom I could name but won't because I simply want to piss off any libs reading this, who told me that he/she had it on absolutely credible (and unanimous) evidence that Odumbo attended Columbia on a scholarship for the poor as a foreign exchange student, for which U.S citizens are ineligible. We won't discuss what exactly was being exchanged here, because I do not wish to gross anyone out, but I promise you it was a felony. So, Mr. Odumbo, prove to the world that my source (and remember, he/she was unanimous) was lying! Go on! I dare you!
Comment by Donald Mack Flippin on August 7, 2012 at 10:20pm I just received information from a reliable source, a young man who was once
the body servant of Harry Reid. This source told me that he was fired from his
position, lost his full-coverage health insurance, and that his wife and only true
love, Peter, died of full-blown AIDS because he could not afford the $80,000 per
day medical bill for the proper care and treatment of Peter.
And, by the bye, the fellow who replaced him as body servant to Harry was one
who called himself Dahl ___ but Harry calls him "Doll".
Not true????
Prove it!!!!!!!
Semper Fi!
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