by Burt Prelutsky

If you want to Comment directly to Burt Prelutsky, please mention my name Rudy.

So, it came to pass that the tykes marched in our nation’s capital and wherever else the TV cameras could be found. I hope they had a good time. But if they think they changed the minds of any adult, they are more seriously deranged than even I thought possible.

For one thing, every grown-up has already made up his or her mind about the meaning of the Second Amendment. For another, if defenders of the Amendment were ever going to cave, it would have been in 2012 when 20-year-old Adam Lanza murdered more than two dozen people, 20 of them adorable little tots, at Sandy Hook Elementary School, in Newtown, CT.

Seeing a bunch of arrogant teenagers carrying signs and parroting anti-gun platitudes simply reminds too many of us of those insufferable snots tying up traffic on behalf of DACA.

I can only hope that young David Hogg, who has ridden to fame on the basis of his being a Parkland survivor—which, in spite of the contrived terminology, hardly makes him the equivalent of a Holocaust survivor—will soon go the way of those earlier vocal symbols of left-wing orthodoxy. I’m referring to people like Sandra Fluke, who used her 15 minutes of fame to make an ass of herself by campaigning non-stop for tax-funded birth control pills; and Cindy Sheehan, who stalked George W. Bush’s Texas ranch to demonstrate her displeasure with the Iraq invasion.

I fear, though, that Mr. Hogg, who could probably run and win a congressional election in certain Florida districts today if only he was 25 years old, will one day be paired by the DNC with someone like Chelsea liar-Clinton or Malia liar-nObama on a presidential ticket.

⦿ One of my readers suggested that a good way to thin out the stranglehold that liberals have on the teaching profession would be by making them take something called the teacher’s test.

I replied that I had never heard of that test but couldn’t imagine anyone devising a test that liberals couldn’t pass by cheating. I continued: “I would rather they quit hiring teachers whose experience has been limited to taking courses allegedly teaching them how to teach.

“Rather,” I went on, “I would have English, math, science, etc., taught the way that things like plumbing, welding, carpentry and auto mechanics, are taught in trade schools, by people with practical experience.

“I first came up with that notion in the 1990s, when ageism prevented my continuing to write for TV, and I found I couldn’t teach English in college or high school because I lacked the proper academic credentials. Although I had been a professional writer since the age of 19, having reviewed movies, TV and books; written a weekly humor column for the L.A. Times; freelanced for a number of national magazines; and spent 25 years writing for TV; I couldn’t land a job teaching English to 10th graders.”

⦿ The bad news coming out of South Africa, where the blacks are confiscating the farms of white people and killing those who refuse to cede the land and exile themselves to places like Australia, is just the most recent example of what happens when blacks have political power.

If you think that only applies to Africa, picture what America would be like if the likes of mad-Maxine Waters, Jesse Jackson, Elijah Cummings, Hank Johnson, Sheila Jackson Lee, Al Sharpton and Louis Farrakhan, actually ran things.

Or, simply consider what took place over the previous eight years when Barack liar-nObama, scum-Eric Holder, Loretta Lynch and Valerie Jarrett, held the reins of power.

When I hear people like Rep. mad-Waters still demanding reparations for slavery, I am reminded once again how grateful the descendants of slaves should be. As terrible as slavery was, those who were never forced to pick cotton or to be bought and sold like cattle, have nothing to complain about. Even the poorest black person in America today, including those who have survived on welfare for several generations, are richer and freer than most people living on the planet.

It may come as a shock to mad-Maxine Waters and her fellow ignoramuses in the Congressional Black Caucus, but most of the seven billion people on the planet do not have cell phones, play stations, cable TV, cars, refrigerators, air conditioning, free healthcare and food on the table, let alone running water, indoor toilets, $100 sneakers and, oh yes, voting rights.

⦿ After I quoted H.L. Mencken’s line about a politician being an animal who can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground, Vera Holroyd, Chapin, South Carolina’s major claim to fame, let me know that she now understands why “the animal symbols for the two major parties have such big ears.”

Mrs. Holroyd did want to know why President Trump didn’t march into Washington and fire everybody who had been hired since liar-nObama took office.

I explained that most of the swamp critters are either elected or Civil Service members of the various bureaucracies and, therefore, virtually omnipotent. Instead, he has had to settle for hiring and firing his own aides and cabinet members.

She concluded by lauding Mark Levin’s show on Fox, “Life, Liberty and Levin,” commending the way that “he sits quietly and lets the wisdom of his guests shine forth.”

Although I had only seen two episodes, those on which he granted the entire hour to Bibi Netanyahu and Larry Arnn, I agreed with her. I added that “I much prefer the Levin on TV to the Levin on radio. For one thing, on his radio show, he does almost all the talking. Or, rather, all the shouting. It’s as if he keeps forgetting that he doesn’t have to shout to be heard. From my perspective, feeling you have to shout to make your point is only one step up from having to resort to obscenities to defeat the opposition.”

⦿ Dan Parker, of Ocean Park, Washington, let me know that he had hoped, as I had, that President Trump would abolish the Department of Education.

But we both should have known better. Like those who defend communism by claiming that its historical failings have nothing to do with the system as devised by the certifiably loony Karl Marx, and everything to do with human error, GOP presidential candidates lie when they claim they intend to eliminate certain federal departments.

As we’ve seen, they don’t have a problem with any department – not with Education, Health & Human Services, Energy, the EPA, Transportation, Commerce, Housing & Urban Development, Agriculture or even continuing to have an ambassador seated at the U.N.—just so long as they’re the ones having authority over them.

⦿ I am now hearing a rumor that Trump will take advantage of the increased military budget mandated by the omnibus bill to fund his border wall, by arguing, quite properly, that it is of strategic importance to America’s national security.

If it’s true, it will constitute the biggest bluff—and of both liberals and the likes of Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell—since 1974, when I managed to bluff Dick Van Patten out of three of a kind with a pair of deuces.

⦿ Probably because the surgery on my hand and wrist a few years back ended my tennis-playing, I had forgotten a conclusion I had come to on the courts one day. But a few days ago, while putting on my shoes, I recalled that one of the regulars in the group, who happened to be a liberal, used to have to re-tie his laces at least once during every set.

That was because he always insisted on tying them with a single knot. Naturally, all the running around would eventually loosen the laces. Having learned at an early age to double-knot my laces, I suggested he do the same. He refused. When I asked him why, he explained that was how he had always tied them and having to constantly re-tie them didn’t strike him as being a good enough reason to change.

It explained the liberal thought process as well as anything I’ve ever come across.

Living and dying as a single-knotter may simply be a matter of habit.

On the other hand, there is always the very real possibility that double-knotting is simply beyond their ability.

If you want to Comment directly to Burt Prelutsky, please mention my name Rudy. 


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