©2018 Burt Prelutsky


These days, when so many people are being encouraged by left-wing pundits, politicians and professors, to regard themselves as victims, leaving those of us who aren’t Muslims, illegal aliens, college snowflakes, urban blacks, homosexuals and transgenders, to feel guilt-ridden, I am thinking of starting a business that will offer dispensations for a price, just like scumbag-Al Gore with his carbon taxes.

The idea is that you would send me a check, the size of which would be relative to the size of your guilt, and I, in turn, would send you a certificate affirming to the world that your guilt has been expunged and that you are now as guilt-free as a newborn babe.

Be warned that if you don’t send me a check, you will have yet something else to feel guilty about.

⦿ Dick Barry, my secret agent in Arlington, Texas, has sent me a couple of new cartoons. In the first, we see a guy looking at a TV, his head exploding, while a doctor is explaining to the guy’s wife that his diagnosis suggests “His Trump Derangement Syndrome seems to have metastasized into Mad Kavanaugh Disease.”

In the second, we see a Republican Elephant and a dummycrats-Democratic Donkey taking a Rorschach test with the inkblot labeled Peter Strzok. According to the Elephant’s interpretation, it’s “A biased anti-Trump zealot determined to exonerate liar-Hillary Clinton and undermine the duly-elected Republican president.” According to the jackass, “It’s a courageous FBI agent saving the country from Russian collusion and the dangerous clown in the White House.”

Keep in mind that an elephant is famous for its memory, whereas a jackass is only notable for its stubbornness.

⦿ After her latest spewing of political bile, a reader suggested that scumbag/mad-Maxine Waters had lost her mind.

I said that begs the question: How can she lose what she never had?

⦿ In a move that reminds some of us that Ireland was, at best, neutral during World War II, due to its abiding hatred of Britain, the upper house of Ireland’s parliament advanced legislation that would criminalize the import and trade of goods produced in the Israeli settlements.

It’s not without its critics in the Irish government. The Foreign Minister said: “The Irish Senate has given its support to a populist, dangerous and extremist anti-Israel boycott initiative that hurts the chances of dialogue between Israel and the Palestinians; it will have a negative impact on the diplomatic process in the Middle East.”

What also needs to be noted is that although the terrorists affiliated with the PLO celebrated the news, Palestinians who work in the Israeli industrial zones will be negatively affected by the boycott.

Which, considering how I feel about the Palestinians, might be regarded as the single silver lining in this reminder that when it came to choosing between the Brits and the Nazis, Ireland chose to remain neutral.

⦿ Someone passed along something titled “ATTENTION, LIBERALS.” The alert reads: “Mexico has just elected a socialist president. Your dream is south of the open border. A lot of marijuana and opium poppies, and socialism means you can have all the stuff you want for free, man. And they have tacos!”

I do wish liberals would take advantage of this offer. The problems are two-fold; one, American socialists don’t really want to live in Karl Marx’s utopia. That’s because it would mean that scumbag/mad-Maxine Waters would have to move out of her $5 million dollar mansion and that commie-Bernie Sanders would have to give up two of the three homes he owns. For another thing, liberals, for all their constant bellyaching about life in America, have no intention of leaving. For proof, you just need to count up all the Hollywood celebrities who promised to leave America if Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, George W. Bush or Donald Trump, were elected.

You noticed any For Sale signs on the front lawns of Barbra Streisand, Rob Reiner, Meryl Streep or Alec Baldwin? No, neither have I.

⦿ When you see what has become of California, the once beautiful golden state, you’re left to wonder how the street rabble even register for the vote. How do they list their addresses? Would the postmen actually deliver the sample ballots to the second trash bin from the corner or the sleeping bag in the middle of the block?

⦿ Someone reminded me that humility is a virtue. I let him know that’s what people who lack it are always saying.

⦿ I have to confess that I was not an enthusiastic supporter of Donald Trump in the beginning. I was put off by a couple of his remarks, such as his saying he preferred soldiers who weren’t captured by the enemy to POWs, and that he thought his uberliberal sister would be an outstanding justice on the Supreme Court.

As a result, my vote in 2016 was more anti/liar-Clinton than pro-Trump. But that was nearly two years ago. Either I’ve seen the error of my ways or perhaps he has. In any case, in 2020, I would vote for Trump even if he were running against Ronald Reagan.

⦿ Liberals like to say they speak truth to power, but in fact they never speak truth to anyone, unless, perhaps, they talk in their sleep.

They pretend it’s an act of courage to insult Trump. These days, in many circles, it takes more courage not to join the sheep in bleating about Russian collusion and other left-wing talking points.

In Russia, China, Iran and North Korea, I grant you, it would be dangerous business to crack jokes at the expense of the various dictators holding the reins, but does anyone seriously believe that Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, Michael Moore or Joy Behar, is risking anything by tossing spitballs at the President?

While making jokes about Trump’s hair or his tweets, does it ever occur to any of these nitwits that they are abetting in the ultimate destruction of the FBI, NSA and the Justice Department by absolving them of their many instances of blatant corruption for no better reason than that people like James Comey, Andrew McCabe, Peter Strzok, Lisa Page, scumbag-John Brennan and James Clapper, dislike the President as much as they do.

⦿ It’s not just the law enforcement departments of the federal government that have become so degraded that you have to wonder if they will ever regain the trust we had in them, especially when they are currently being run by the twerpy likes of Jeff Sessions, Rod Rosenstein and Christopher Wray.

Consider what is taking place on our college campuses. If anyone voices an honest opinion that isn’t in line with the guff being foisted off by left-wing professors, he is reported to the authorities for discipline, much like the poor souls in China, Cambodia and the Soviet Union, who were sent off to re-education camps to be tortured for their sins against the state.

And when the administrators aren’t kowtowing to the radicalized bullies, they’re punishing male students for allegedly committing sex crimes in a system that holds a person guilty until proven innocent and then denies the alleged perpetrator the opportunity to defend himself before he is automatically expelled.

In reviewing a book about the state of college campuses, Elliott Kaufman, wrote: “At Yale, 61 percent of freshmen feel comfortable giving their opinions on politics, race, religion, and gender. Unsurprisingly, that number declines after each year of attendance. Just 30 percent of seniors feel similarly comfortable.”

My interpretation of that statistic is that if they start out as conservatives, they are cowed into silence over the course of four years. If, on the other hand, they start out as liberals, they soon discover there’s no need to voice an opinion because, in spite of all its alleged diversity, everyone at Yale thinks the same and voices the exact same opinions.



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