by Burt Prelutsky

If you want to Comment directly to Burt Prelutsky, please mention my name Rudy.

In case you missed the news, former V.P. loose lips-Biden wants a piece of Donald Trump. He has called out the President and challenged him to a fight.

If it ever came to pass, my money would be on Trump. For one thing, he’s bigger, younger and has a longer reach. For another, he rarely gets into a fight he can’t win.

The one advantage loose lips-Biden might have is that he can absorb a lot of pain. He has proven that by sitting on stage year after year and managing to remain awake during liar-nObama’s State of the Union addresses.

Also, he has undergone hair transplant procedures, and rumor has it that’s nearly as painful as childbirth. My own theory is that loose lips-Biden’s hatred of Trump can be traced to hair envy.

I suspect loose lips-Biden was somewhat surprised that his fellow liberals weren’t as excited by his challenge as he imagined they would be. For one thing, feminists saw it as yet another example of toxic masculinity. Even though loose lips-Biden insisted that his offer to “take it outside” was in response to Trump’s boast that he could grab women any which way he liked, feminists don’t care for anything smacking of chivalry. So far as the ladies of NOW are concerned, the only reason men hold doors open for women is so they can check out their butts as they pass by. I, for one, say that’s just a lucky guess.

The other irony is that Trump, who has been married to three knock-outs, made it a point to run a beauty contest, and never made a secret of his lifelong pursuit of gorgeous women, remains an idol to generations of men who grew up subscribing to Playboy, and not for its interviews; whereas loose lips-Joe Biden has long been recognized as a creep who has an unnatural and, if you will, an abiding interest in pre-pubescent girls.

⦿ Speaking of sinful behavior, I have decided to conduct another poll of my readers. Recently, a majority of you let me know that of the 10 Commandments, the hardest one to obey was respecting the Sabbath.

Now I’d like to know which of the seven deadly sins you regard as the worst. In alphabetical order, they and their opposites are Envy (Gratitude), Gluttony (Temperance), Greed (Generosity), Lust (Chastity), Pride (Humility), Sloth (Diligence) and Wrath (Patience).

You can let me know by naming your choice in the subject line of an email sent to

⦿ Although I don’t think Donald Trump has anything to worry about from loose lips-Joe Biden, I find myself very concerned when it comes to the Never-Trump element in the Deep State. We have already seen the lengths that members of the FBI and the State Department have gone to destroy the President. Is it really so hard to imagine that they would conspire to assassinate him, especially if the Mueller witch hunt turns up nothing of an impeachable nature?

It’s one thing to say this isn’t a banana republic, but over the course of the past 55 years, we have seen President Kennedy murdered; serious attempts on the lives of two other presidents, Gerald Ford and Ronald Reagan; and thwarted attempts on the lives of Nixon, Ford, liar-Clinton, liar-nObama and both Bushes.

And not a single one of those presidents was as despised as Trump, and none of them campaigned on a promise to drain the Washington swamp.

Even though I know the President is a little sensitive about his weight, I hope he’s not too vain to add to his bulk by wearing a Kevlar vest for the next seven years.

⦿ Charley Schmitz, civic booster of St. Louis and benefactor of its world-famous zoo, sent along the following zinger: Q. What’s the difference between liar-Hillary Clinton and Vladimir Putin? A. Putin actually wins the elections he rigs.

⦿ Bert Black, who hails from Silver Spring, Maryland, and doesn’t care who knows it, sent along the following bit of ecumenical humor.

Mr. Black would have us believe that the Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their infestation of squirrels. After much prayer and reflection, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there, and therefore they shouldn’t do anything to interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church, the deacons decided to put in a water slide, thus encouraging their squirrels to drown themselves. As luck would have it, the squirrels knew how to swim, so the following week they all showed up and brought friends and beach towels.

The Lutheran church elders decided they were not in the business of harming God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped the critters and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later, when the Baptists removed the water slide because the squirrels appeared to be dancing in the water, the squirrels returned to the Lutherans.

The Catholics dealt with its squirrel population by baptizing them, knowing that as members of the congregation, they’d only show up for Christmas and Easter.

The first time a squirrel showed up at a synagogue, however, the Jews circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.

If you want to Comment directly to Burt Prelutsky, please mention my name Rudy. 


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