by Burt Prelutsky


Most politicians, even those with whom we might agree when it comes to the major issues, are so personally vile that when they appear in public, they should have to ring a little bell to alert decent people to their presence the way that lepers were forced to do during the Dark Ages.

Consider Eric Greitens, who until recently was the governor of Missouri. Facing certain impeachment because he had violated election laws having to do with the misuse of campaign funds, on top of having had to confess to having conducted an adulterous affair with a married hair stylist, he decided to resign.

But in his closing remarks on his way out the door of the governor’s mansion, he accused his political opponents of “trying to hurt his family.”

Apparently, when he was catting around with his tootsie, it was only to make him a better husband and father. After all, I have no reason to doubt that when liar-Bill Clinton dropped his pants in the Oval Office, he told Monica Lewinsky that he was only doing it, not for God and country, but for liar-Hillary and Chelsea.

I suspect there is a factory in Hoboken that turns out moral blinders for political officeholders, and that it’s been doing land office business since the day it opened its doors.

The fact that Greitens was a lifelong Democrat until he decided to run for governor as a Republican would be a strong indicator of his moral defects. On the other hand, rino-John McCain has never switched his party affiliation, although the fact that he co-authored legislation with Russ Feingold and Ted Kennedy and then got off a sick bed in order to be flown to Washington, D.C. so he could scuttle President Trump’s attempt to repeal and replace liar-nObamaCare, would strongly suggest that the schmuck has always flown under false colors.

⦿ Proving that the bottom line doesn’t always determine corporate decisions when it comes to the entertainment/ political complex, ABC canceled its top-rated sit com, “Roseanne.”

It seems that it’s perfectly legitimate for late night TV hosts, Hollywood celebrities and news anchors, to insult President Trump 24/7, but all it took was Roseanne Barr’s pointing out the obvious — that liar-nObama’s personal Rasputin, Valerie Jarrett, looks like the result of the mating of a Muslim with an ape — to not only get her knocked off TV, but to have her theatrical agency drop her as a client.

The TV network released a statement calling her comment “abhorrent” and “repugnant.” For my part, I find their comment repetitive, there being no actual difference between the two words.

Understand, I do not consider Ms. Barr a political martyr. I never liked her. I still recall that as a favor to the producer of her original sit com, a jerk who had just purchased the San Diego Padres baseball team as a hobby, she agreed to sing the National Anthem at one of their home games. She sang it but couldn’t resist putting her own special spin on the performance by, not taking a knee, but, instead, grabbing her crotch.

She is a vulgarian and seemingly proud of it. But if I had to choose between the two women, I’d take Barr over Jarrett. At least when Roseanne made her comment, it was just a tweet. But when Valerie Jarrett responded to it, she did so while seated next to Al Sharpton. Instead of critiquing Jarrett’s looks, Roseanne should have commented on the putrid company the woman keeps.

⦿ Not wanting ABC to get a politically correct leg up on them, Starbucks placed their own lunacy on full display by closing its doors for the afternoon of May 29th and forcing its 175,000 employees to attend racial sensitivity training sessions. It was all the result of a Starbucks manager in Philadelphia calling the cops because a couple of young black men refused to relinquish a table they had commandeered for two hours without making a single purchase.

So, naturally, the company’s chairman, the uberliberal, extraordinarily self-righteous Howard Schultz wound up blaming President Trump for creating a racially hostile environment in the nation — an accusation he somehow never thought of laying at the feet of the obsessively racist President liar-nObama.

The cost to Starbucks for shutting down the over-priced coffee shops for half a day was $12 million. But Schultz assured his shareholders that it wasn’t really a loss, “it was an investment in the future.”

Where do liberals learn to talk? At Hoboken’s world-renowned University of Flapdoodle?

⦿ If looking for additional examples of liberal hypocrisy, look no further than their blaming the current administration for splitting up the families of illegal aliens, when it’s the trespassers themselves who do the splitting up when they either sneak across the borders, leaving the wives and kids behind, or send the kids ahead on their own.

Then the liberals further betrayed their alleged principles by sharing a photo of little Hispanic kids locked in cages and accusing the Trump administration of treating the tykes like animals, and then not issuing an apology when it’s discovered that the photo was taken a few years ago when liar-nObama was still stinking up the Oval Office.

⦿ I was only slightly surprised, but certainly not shocked, that Ireland decided to revoke its nation’s ban on abortions. Ireland used to be devoutly Catholic, but it is now a typically secular western European member of the EU that has chosen, like Germany, France and the other once-proud nations to trade its sovereignty for a bowl of socialistic gruel.

Greece has often been called the cradle of democracy, but that was a long time ago.

Thanks to Greece and most of the rest of Europe surrendering its history, culture and religious traditions, to the unelected bureaucratic nonentities running the continent from their fiefdom in Brussels, who see their primary mission to be the resettling of terrorist-minded Muslims on the continent, Europe will soon be the graveyard of democracy.

⦿ Back in 1986, Matthew Broderick, whom I generally liked, had a great success in a comedy I hated so much, it made my teeth ache. It was called “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” and recounted the shenanigans of a smug high school know-it-all who decides to play hooky and make life miserable for every grown-up in Chicago.

Thanks to Broderick’s own boyish good looks and natural likeability, it’s not a perfect fit, but I can’t help thinking of Donald Trump’s chief nemesis as Ferris Mueller.

⦿ Thinking of one of my least-favorite comedies got me to thinking about the movies, TV shows and individuals who have made me laugh the most. Many of you will probably wonder how it is that Mark Twain doesn’t make my list. The truth is, I thought he was a good writer, but I never thought he was a funny writer. At any rate, he never made me laugh.

When it comes to movies, the funniest that come to mind were in alphabetical order: “A Fish Named Wanda,” “Bachelor Mother,” “City Lights,” “Groundhog Day,” “My Cousin Vinny,” “My Favorite Wife,” “Some Like it Hot” and “The Man with Two Brains.”

My favorite TV comedies: “Absolutely Fabulous” (English), “Corner Gas” (Canadian), “Everyone Loves Raymond,” “Fawlty Towers” (English), “Frasier,” “No, Honestly” (English), “Sgt. Bilko,” “The Honeymooners” and “The Sid Caesar Show.”

My favorite stand-up comedians: Rodney Dangerfield, Richard Jeni (“The Platypus Man”), Alan King, Jackie Mason and Henny Youngman.

My favorite comedy actors: John Cleese, Cary Grant, Hugh Grant, Buster Keaton, Laurel & Hardy and Steve Martin.

My favorite comedy writers: Robert Benchley, Larry Gelbart, Nat Hiken, S.J. Perelman, Thorne Smith and Mel Tolkin.

Special mention to Jack Benny’s comedy special featuring the Marquis Chimps and the knighting ceremony in the Danny Kaye vehicle “The Court Jester.” They literally had me rolling on the floor.



Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *