by Burt Prelutsky

If you want to Comment directly to Burt Prelutsky, please mention my name Rudy.

Because Donald Trump is so different from every president we’ve ever had, it’s not the easiest thing in the world to figure out if he’s Field Marshall Rommel’s equal when it comes to strategic combat or if, on occasion, he simply steps in it because we’re all human and we all make mistakes and say stupid things on occasion.

For instance, when he announced tariffs on imported steel and aluminum, it was seen as a long overdue response to China. But compared to the amount of steel and aluminum we get from other nations, China’s economy would barely be affected.

Instead, as things stand, the tariffs would increase the cost of steel and aluminum products for the American consumer, while simultaneously invite retaliatory tariffs on all the things, ranging from wheat to computer chips, we export around the world.

Frankly, if Trump seeks to send a message to China, I’d prefer he simply ban Chinese imports. After all, as he was constantly pointing out on the campaign trail, they are currency manipulators. What’s more, they steal our intellectual property, they are constantly attacking us in cyberspace and they send us crap, including dog food probably made out of dogs that poison our pets.

Nixon must have been deranged when he reached out to the Chinese villains. He was just lucky they didn’t bite off his arm.

⦿ I have a good friend who is working hard to make certain that as many people as possible see “Gosnell,” a movie set to be released nationwide in October. It will bring to the screen the disgusting story of Kermit Gosnell, the Philadelphia butcher who aborted a record number of babies and is now serving a life term for killing a woman during a botched abortion and for murdering several babies who survived his bloody procedures.

I told her I would not wish to see the movie because I have no need to punish myself when I have already made up my mind on the subject. The problem is that the only people who will troop out to see it are those, like me, who are already opposed to abortions and only wish that Gosnell had been executed.

The “Gosnell” audience, just like the audiences for Dinesh D’Souza’s movies, are already in the choir, whereas the pro-abortion crowd who need to have sense beaten into their skulls will never buy a ticket.

More likely, when October rolls around, the theaters screening it will be picketed by goons bought and paid for by George scum-Soros and Planned Parenthood.

⦿ My friend, Dick Barry, the pride of Arlington, Texas, passed along a warning about Medicare scammers. It seems that between April 2018 and April 2019, new cards will be mailed out without your Social Security numbers listed on them.

The scam will consist of conmen phoning, identifying themselves as working for Medicare, and informing you that until the official cards arrive, you will need a temporary card. The cost may be anywhere from $5 to $50. The worst part is that they will also request personal information regarding your bank account or credit cards so they can set about processing the stop-gap card.

What you need to keep in mind is that Medicare will never call you unless you contact them and make the request. Medicare communicates entirely through the mail.

Now your job is to spread the word to your friends and relatives.

⦿ John Lewis, Richmond, Virginia’s favorite son, passed along the following letter to the editor: “Okay, class, let’s review. One, the government’s FBI tip line failed its designated duty. Two, the government’s school failed to keep the children safe. Three, the government’s deputies failed to do their duty. Four, the government’s sheriff’s office failed to act when called to Nicolas Cruz’s house 39 times. Five, the government’s gun purchase background check system failed. Six, the government-supported mental health system did not act to restrain an obviously deranged individual. The conclusion is obvious: the NRA is at fault and society needs more government intervention.”

⦿ I recently had to visit a plumbing supply store to buy an outdoor drain cover. When I marveled at the care with which the store owner measured the various options, he said: “I’m guessing you’re not a do-it-yourselfer.” I acknowledged that because of vertigo, I even have a hard time dealing with burned-out light bulbs because I start getting dizzy by the time I’ve reached the second rung of a stepladder. I told him I was a writer, which allowed me to sit down a lot.

He then told me he was also a writer, a poet to be exact. Also, a musician and a composer.

It reminded me that a great many people possess hidden skills, and that we’re fools if we simply assume people can be defined by their occupations. That also led me to conclude that we are just as likely to presume something equally fallacious when it comes to professors and rich people.

Some people are wealthy because they had a talent for something that just happens to pay well, such as acting, singing, managing hedge funds, defending criminals or robbing widows and orphans.

As for professors, they are often regarded — particularly by themselves – as being brilliant, even wise, when in fact most of them simply have an unnatural tolerance for classrooms and don’t mind spending 20 years or so attending one school or another, and another 40 teaching at one. A professorship, in most cases, merely means that a person knows a lot more about 18th century French literature or the sexual mores of Samoans than normal people know or would care to know.

⦿ Novelist John Irving once remarked: “Religious freedom should work two ways; we should be free to practice the religion of our choice, but we must also be free from having someone else’s religion practiced on us.”

He didn’t specify any particular religion, so I will. Those who choose to abide by Sharia Law, those who believe in honor killings and cliterectomies, those who regard Christianity and Judaism as gutter religions and label those who practice those faiths “infidels,” have no place in American society. Or any other place, but that’s just my unsolicited opinion.

⦿ Because I believe that in addition to the Ten Commandments, people need other rules to live by, I have come up with a few. They have served me well and perhaps they will help guide you through the perils of daily life:

“If something sounds too good to be true, assume it’s not true and hang on to your wallet.”

“If someone starts out a sentence by saying ‘You can trust me,’ you can’t. Remember to hang on to your wallet.”

“Don’t do unto others what you would have them do unto you. We’re not all alike. Just because you might want to have something done unto you doesn’t mean I’m going to want to have it done unto me. For all I know, you might be a masochist.”

If you want to Comment directly to Burt Prelutsky, please mention my name Rudy. 


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