by Burt Prelutsky

I acknowledge it is a long, perhaps even endless, list, but, surely, we’d all agree that one of the most obnoxious things about leftists is their shameless hypocrisy.

I mean, it would be bad enough if they truly believed that carbon dioxide is a pollutant — rather than the natural heating element that makes life on our planet possible — and that people are destroying Mother Earth, or that warming things up a bit is a bad thing. But the thing is, they not only lie, they know they’re lying.

The proof of that is that Michael Moore, Leonardo DiCaprio; George Clooney; Robert Kennedy, Jr.; the liar-Clintons; the liar-nObamas; and, yes, even that supreme alarmist who puts Chicken Little to shame, scum-Al Gore, never fly commercial. When it comes to their own carbon footprints, seemingly the bigger, the better. These elitists always fly in private jets, even if they’re flying off to environmental conferences to give a speech or, more typically, pick up an award for their tireless efforts.

● I wish that the same constraints on false advertising existed in politics and media as they do in the world of commerce.

For instance, people selling ground chuck can’t mislabel it sirloin without facing massive fines and even jail time. But there’s nothing to prevent the likes of RINO-John McCain, RINO-Jeff Flake and RINO-Susan Collins, from calling themselves Republicans.

For that matter, Chris Wallace is paid a hefty fee by Fox News to pass himself as an independent journalist when anyone who is paying any attention at all can see that he is a chip off the old liberal blockhead known as Mike Wallace — and who does everything short of using semaphore flags to signal his animus towards President Trump.

● One of the oddest things about liberals is that, without exception, they deplore the use of enhanced interrogation even if it could be proven that a little waterboarding on the right jihadist might prevent an ambush of our soldiers or a 9/11-type attack on our civilians.

Even Sen. RINO-McCain, who suffered torture at the hands of the enemy, not because they were seeking information, but simply because they were evil, has granted himself the moral high ground with his insistence that causing the jihadists the slightest discomfort was strictly verboten and lowered us to their level. What a self-righteous simpleton! The thing about some people is that they are repulsed at the notion of torturing those who are out to kill us, but they don’t hesitate for even a second when it comes to torturing logic and burying common sense.

● I recently wrote approvingly of Donald Trump’s plan to move the American embassy in Israel from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, and ridiculed the announcement from Israel’s enemies that it would lead to another intifada, as if the Palestinians ever cease their bloody riots for more than a few days at a time.

Surely, I can’t be the only person who wishes our presidents would stop playing the role of the impotent cop in the nonstop Punch and Judy show known as the Middle East peace process. It was downright embarrassing when liar-Bill Clinton took on the role of peacekeeper, playing up to Yasir Arafat, who had mastered the art of talking out of both sides of his mouth, speaking of harmony in English and promising the annihilation of Israel in Arabic.

One who agrees with me is Stephen Hanover, the pride of Doylestown, PA, who was reminded that Arafat made a tentative agreement at Camp David, and immediately disavowed it when he returned to the sewer from whence he had come. What grabbed my attention, though, is that in referring to the Palestinian leader, he wrote “…the detestable Yasir “That’s my baby” Arafat.”

It made me laugh, and laughs these days tend to be in such short supply, they should always be shared.

● When I wrote that I didn’t consider a 30-year-old seeking to date a teenage girl sexual abuse, I didn’t mean to suggest I approved of it. I just thought that labeling it pedophilia was inexcusable, and served to make a mockery of actual child abuse.

In much the same way, I don’t think that referring to socialists like Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth dinky-Warren, Al Green, Nancy Pulosi and Chuck clown-Schumer, as prime examples of people who have managed to grow old without growing the least bit wiser is an example of elder abuse.

● Speaking of the aging process, I understand that noses continue growing for no good reason for as long as we live. But what’s with the ears? Mine seem to find Dumbo a personal challenge.

I’m beginning to fear venturing outdoors on a windy day, lest I find myself five hours later crash-landing in Chicago.

● As some of you know, I am often dashing off letters to people I’ve never met, hoping to clarify an issue or simply to share my thoughts with someone I think might be interested, but who rarely seems to be.

Yesterday, I decided to contact Peter Strzok, the FBI agent none of us had ever heard of a couple of weeks ago. By now, we have heard about him so often, we even know how to spell his name and are aware that, for some incomprehensible reason, it is pronounced Struck.

“Dear Mr. Strzok,” I wrote, “I bet you never thought you’d be famous, but life is an endless series of surprises, as I’ve discovered during my 78 years on the planet.

“I am moved to write simply out of curiosity. I can understand people who did not wish to see Donald Trump elected. What has me bewildered are people such as yourself who were pulling for liar-Hillary Clinton.

“As an FBI agent, I naturally assume you love this country and want what is best for her. That being the case, why would you want to help elect someone who, in order to avoid leaving a paper trail leading to the criminal enterprise known as the liar-Clinton Foundation, used, in clear violation of federal law, a private server to send and receive classified information?

“And when the shit inevitably hit the fan, she had her stooges employ every means possible smashing cell phones with hammers, using Bleachbit to eliminate hard drives to destroy subpoenaed evidence, while she ingenuously pretended to believe that one scrubbed a computer clean with a dish rag.

“Mrs. liar-Clinton also accepted bribes from foreign, often hostile, nations during her tenure as Secretary of State. Furthermore, in exchange for a bribe said to be in excess of $135,000,000, she turned over roughly 25% of our uranium deposits to the Russians.

“Then, after she pressed the reset button with Russia, and President liar-nObama reassured Putin that after the 2012 election, he would be more flexible in his dealings with that country, and, moreover, ridiculing Mitt Romney for suggesting that Russia was our major geo-political enemy, the two of them decided that “colluding” with the Russians rose to the level of a treasonable offense.

“And, yet, you risked your entire career on her behalf.

“As I stated, I can understand why someone might not wish to see Donald Trump in the White House. But when the alternative is a person who bragged as a young lawyer about getting a middle-aged client off with a light sentence for raping a child, and then spent the rest of her life motivated solely by greed and an all-consuming hunger for political power — even if it meant trashing the reputations of the women sexually assaulted by her husband — I am at a loss to understand your motivation.

“Believe me, I am not being judgmental. I am too confused to be judgmental; I am simply plagued by curiosity, and hope you will take a moment to satisfy it. Sincerely, Burt Prelutsky”

I trust you will appreciate my good manners, and the fact that I refrained from bringing up the fact that the schmuck was also cheating on his wife with a female lawyer who was also in the employ of the FBI.

I’ll let you know if I hear back.

● I heard that in a poll of millennials, 50% of the males admitted they’d be willing to date female robots.

I understand that in another poll, only 3% of female robots said they would be willing to date male millennials, mainly because they understood the snowflakes were unemployed, still living in their parent’s basement and had voted for Bernie Sanders.

One of them, Roberta Robot, was quoted as saying: “We may only be machines, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have standards.”

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