by Burt Prelutsky

IF YOU WANT TO COMMENT TO BURT PRELUTSKY ARTICLE, PLEASE MENTION MY NAME RUDY… Contact Burt at burtprelutsky@icloud.com

As some of you know, I often write letters to politicians. I do it in the hope that for once they will heed the counsel of someone other than their major donors and their campaign managers, someone who sincerely has the best interests of America at heart. The only time I have ever heard back from one was when I sent a $5 check to President Trump to kick-start the building of his border wall, and he returned the check with his thanks.

But hope springs eternal, even in this cynical heart, so I recently wrote the following to the minority leader of the U.S. Senate:

“Dear Sen. clown-Schumer: For the sake of transparency, I confess that I’m a registered Republican. That’s not because I hold the GOP in particularly high esteem. But these days, it’s enough that they’re not dummycrats-Democrats.

“I didn’t always feel this way. For a long time, I was a dummycrats-Democrat. But as Ronald Reagan famously said, ‘I didn’t leave the Party; the Party left me.’

“Frankly, I can’t imagine what your professional life must be like. As a TV writer, I have had to go to work in offices where it took only one person to turn it into a toxic atmosphere. You, on the other hand, go to work and have to spend most of your time with mean-spirited ignoramuses. It’s even worse for Nancy Pulosi. At least as a senator, you don’t have to hold conferences with the likes of scumbag/mad-Maxine Waters, scumbag-Adam Schiff and, in a few months, the commie-Bernie Sanders disciple who will be representing New York’s 14th congressional district.

“Or at least it would be worse if Ms. Pulosi wasn’t every bit as nasty and feebleminded as her associates.

“I could be mistaken, but you seem brighter than most of your Senate colleagues. As such, doesn’t it trouble you when you have to react automatically and negatively to everything that President Trump says and does?

“Surely, as an American, you had to be hoping that the Singapore Summit would lead to Kim Jong-un’s denuclearizing the Korean Peninsula. But no sooner had it ended than you were on TV insisting it had been a waste of time. You know you would not have said that if it had been Barack liar-nObama at the meeting. You even had the audacity to claim that the agreement that sent $150 billion in cash to Iran, the number one sponsor of terrorism and the number one enemy of Israel, was in our best interest. Aren’t you the least bit ashamed of that?

“You can’t possibly believe that open borders are a good thing for America. Understand, I’m not saying that there aren’t major Republican donors who want an endless supply of cheap labor, but how do the rest of us benefit from having a constant stream of unskilled illiterates streaming into our country?

“Even in terms of purely political strategy, adopting the Never-Trump resistance makes no sense. When you insist that everything this administration does is bad, you turn yourself into the very stupid boy who cried ‘Wolf!’ on an hourly basis. Why not at least appear to put partisanship aside and build the wall? At least, if it was constructed by union workers, you’d gain favor in that quarter. Those really are ‘shovel-ready’ jobs, unlike the fantasies liar-nObama kept referring to when he blew a billion dollars on outfits like Solyndra.

“Politically, it would be a windfall for your side. It would look like statesmanship, even if it were merely a ploy to help dummycrats-Democrats get elected in November. Polls show that even those Latinos who are American citizens don’t want the invasion to continue. Why would they? After all, it’s their wages that are being undercut, their schools and health clinics that are being overwhelmed and their kids who are being victimized by MS-13 and their equally vicious sidekicks.

“You’re not a young man, Senator clown-Schumer. You are, like me, on the downhill side of your life. When the rabbi sends you off to the great unknown, would you prefer that he be able to say with a straight face: ‘Today, we are putting to rest a man of principle who did everything in his power to leave America a better place than he found it’ or ‘Today, we’re burying just another cheap political hack. Now let’s eat’?

“p.s. When you’re addressing the media, I would suggest you ditch the stiffs who always insist on huddling behind you. I know those other senators want to be seen on camera, but they just look dumb and, worse yet from your perspective, they make you look like a mob boss who can’t go anywhere without a bunch of goofy-looking bodyguards. Feel free to share this bit of free advice with Sen. McConnell.

“p.p.s. While I have your attention, could you please do something about this lunacy called dual-citizenship? Citizenship either means what we were both brought up to think it means, which is whole-hearted fidelity to a single nation, or it means nothing at all. Sort of like a nation that lacks the will to protect its own borders from foreign invaders. Dual-citizenship, when you get right down to it, is the equivalent of bigamy. Regards, Burt Prelutsky”

I’ll be sure to keep you posted if he gets back to me.

⦿ Today, I’ll close with a few life lessons sent along by my friend Tony Medley, who doesn’t claim authorship, but understands that we all need reminding of those things that help make us human.

1. Today, I interviewed my grandmother for part of a research paper I’m working on for my Psych class. When I asked her to define success in her own words, she said: “Success is when you look back at your life and the memories make you smile.”

2. Today, I asked my mentor, a wealthy businessman in his 70s, for his three top tips for success. He said: “Read something nobody else is reading, think something that nobody else is thinking and do something that nobody else is doing.”

3. Today, after my 72-hour shift at the fire station, a woman ran up to me at the grocery store and gave me a hug. When I tensed up, she realized I didn’t recognize her. With tears of joy running down her face, she said: “On 9-11, you carried me out of the World Trade Center.”

4. Today, after I watched my dog get hit by a car, I sat on the side of the road holding him and crying. Just before he died, he licked the tears off my face.

5. Today, at 7 a.m., I woke up feeling ill, but decided I needed the money and went to work. At 3 p.m., I was laid off. On my drive home, I got a flat tire. When I opened the trunk, I found the spare was also flat. A man in a BMW pulled over and gave me a lift. After chatting for a while, he offered me a job. I start tomorrow.

6. Today, as my father, three brothers and two sisters, stood around my mother’s hospital bed, my mother spoke her last words before dying. She simply said: “I feel so loved right now. We should have gotten together like this more often.”

7. Today, I kissed my dad on the forehead as he passed away in a small hospital bed. About five seconds later, I realized that was the first time I had given him a kiss since I was a little boy.

8. This afternoon, in the cutest voice, my 7-year-old daughter asked me to start recycling. I chuckled and asked “Why?” She replied: “So you can help me save the planet.” Again, I asked why. “Because that’s where I keep all my stuff.”

9. Today, when I witnessed a 27-year-old breast cancer patient laughing hysterically at the antics of her two-year-old son, I suddenly realized I need to stop complaining about my life and start celebrating it again.

10. Today, a boy in a wheelchair saw me desperately struggling on crutches with my broken leg and offered to carry my backpack and books for me. He helped me all the way across campus to my class and as he was leaving, he said: “I hope you feel better soon.”

11. Today, I was feeling down because the results of a biopsy came back malignant. When I got home, I opened an email that said: “Thinking of you today. If you need me, I’m a phone call away.” It was from a high school friend I hadn’t seen in ten years.

12. Recently, I was traveling in Kenya and I met a refugee from Zimbabwe. He told me he hadn’t had anything to eat in three days. When I offered him the rest of the sandwich I had begun eating, he said: “We can share it.”

It concluded with: The best sermons are lived, not preached.

IF YOU WANT TO COMMENT TO BURT PRELUTSKY ARTICLE, PLEASE MENTION MY NAME RUDY… Contact Burt at burtprelutsky@icloud.com  

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